Post by kay on Aug 11, 2004 5:40:07 GMT
I found these jokes from net:
After his 3rd straight penalty miss, we all dislike him just a little (except for the Portuguese and the lucky spaniard with the 16.4 million dollar ball). I've dug up a good old topic. Jokes on Becks!
Here's a few starters:
David Beckham is over the moon.
"Three weeks and five days! Three weeks and five days!"
"What?" Asks Victoria.
"I've done this jigsaw in Three weeks and five days!"
"Is that good?"
"It's excellent. It says three to five years on the box."
David Beckham, Paul Scholes, and Roy Keane are all stuck in a burning building. A group of firemen stand at the bottom with a blanket.
"Jump! Jump!" They say to the Irish Skipper. Keane jumps and at the last minute, the firemen pull away the blanket and have a good hard laugh while Roy Keane falls flat on the cement. "Jump!" They say again. Paul Scholes hesitates for a moment, but the firemen promise him nothing will happen, and he jumps as well. Again, at the last moment, the firemen whip away the blanket and the ginger prince goes splat. Finally it's Beckham's turn. He had been watching all that went on in horror. The firemen say, "quick, jump!". Beckham shakes his head but the firemen say that they won't do it to him. Beckham says, "Alright, but I don't trust you. I'll jump on one condition, you put that blanket down on the concrete, walk ten steps back, and put your hands behind your back."
David and Victoria are watching the nine o' clock news. There is a negotiator trying to stop this man from jumping into the River Thames. David says, "I don't think he's going to jump."
"I think he is," says Victoria, "and I'll bet you five thousand pounds if he does."
"Done."
They shake on it and the bet is made.
The man jumps.
David hands Victoria the money, but she pushes it away.
"No David, I cheated, I watched the five o' clock news and saw him jump."
"No babe," says David, "You won fair and square, I was cheating just as much as you were. I watched the five o clock news too, but I just didn't think he was going to jump again..."
David Beckham goes to get a haircut with headphones on. The hairdresser asks for him to take it off, but David says,
"No, it's a matter of life or death."
The hairdresser is forced to cut around the headphones and finally her curiosity gets the better of her and she lifts up a headphone and listens.
"Breath in, Breath out."
What have George Micheal and David Beckham got in common?
They both got into trouble in the Loos!!!
Why is David Beckham like a Ferrero Roche?
They both come in a posh box.
Boom! Boom!
David Beckham goes to a casino and sees a vending machine. He puts in a coin and out comes a coke. He puts in another and out comes a lint. A man asks if he can use it and then Beckham says, "get lost, can't you see I'm winning every time?"
Rah rah. Go on mates, do your best.
After his 3rd straight penalty miss, we all dislike him just a little (except for the Portuguese and the lucky spaniard with the 16.4 million dollar ball). I've dug up a good old topic. Jokes on Becks!
Here's a few starters:
David Beckham is over the moon.
"Three weeks and five days! Three weeks and five days!"
"What?" Asks Victoria.
"I've done this jigsaw in Three weeks and five days!"
"Is that good?"
"It's excellent. It says three to five years on the box."
David Beckham, Paul Scholes, and Roy Keane are all stuck in a burning building. A group of firemen stand at the bottom with a blanket.
"Jump! Jump!" They say to the Irish Skipper. Keane jumps and at the last minute, the firemen pull away the blanket and have a good hard laugh while Roy Keane falls flat on the cement. "Jump!" They say again. Paul Scholes hesitates for a moment, but the firemen promise him nothing will happen, and he jumps as well. Again, at the last moment, the firemen whip away the blanket and the ginger prince goes splat. Finally it's Beckham's turn. He had been watching all that went on in horror. The firemen say, "quick, jump!". Beckham shakes his head but the firemen say that they won't do it to him. Beckham says, "Alright, but I don't trust you. I'll jump on one condition, you put that blanket down on the concrete, walk ten steps back, and put your hands behind your back."
David and Victoria are watching the nine o' clock news. There is a negotiator trying to stop this man from jumping into the River Thames. David says, "I don't think he's going to jump."
"I think he is," says Victoria, "and I'll bet you five thousand pounds if he does."
"Done."
They shake on it and the bet is made.
The man jumps.
David hands Victoria the money, but she pushes it away.
"No David, I cheated, I watched the five o' clock news and saw him jump."
"No babe," says David, "You won fair and square, I was cheating just as much as you were. I watched the five o clock news too, but I just didn't think he was going to jump again..."
David Beckham goes to get a haircut with headphones on. The hairdresser asks for him to take it off, but David says,
"No, it's a matter of life or death."
The hairdresser is forced to cut around the headphones and finally her curiosity gets the better of her and she lifts up a headphone and listens.
"Breath in, Breath out."
What have George Micheal and David Beckham got in common?
They both got into trouble in the Loos!!!
Why is David Beckham like a Ferrero Roche?
They both come in a posh box.
Boom! Boom!
David Beckham goes to a casino and sees a vending machine. He puts in a coin and out comes a coke. He puts in another and out comes a lint. A man asks if he can use it and then Beckham says, "get lost, can't you see I'm winning every time?"
Rah rah. Go on mates, do your best.
